Marketecture Shmarketecture!

Here's how to do it...



Here's how NOT to...

Sorry, Jessica!

UNIONVILLE, Ont., Feb 28, 2009 -- The board of directors of Center Console 
today announced that Jessica Hagy's Indexed has left the "Other People" list 
on Center Console to spend more time not being funny.

Jessica Hagy's Indexed joins Dunkelheit und Strafe as only the second website 
in the Dearly Departed Other People category. 

The board recognizes that Dunkelheit und Strafe never was funny, whereas 
Jessica Hagy's Indexed drifted in that direction over time.

These moves are intended to free up space in the Other People list for new 
entries, such as New Arrivals at The New Yorker.

Railfans

For all you railfans and trainspotters out there, here is the miraculous receding market of Maeklong in Bangkok:

eBay Hacked?

Here's a window I absolutely do not want to see, especially when clicking on the Continue button in eBay to pay for something:



Turns out some site I've never heard of, auctiva.com, has been compromised:



I don't know why eBay tried to send me to auctiva, nor do I care.

I also don't want to hear "it's not eBay's problem, it's an auctiva problem"... as far as I'm concerned I was using eBay, and if eBay is going to send me to a compromised website then it is...

eBay's Problem!

Ya gotta love the official response:

From Auctiva Community:

Hi Community,

Update - If you are using the Firefox browser and are unable to use your account because you are receiving a warning stating the Auctiva is an "attack site", you should be able to workaround it by selecting "Options" from the "Tools" menu and disabling the "tell me if the site I’m visiting is a suspected attack site" setting under the "Security" tab.

We have removed what was causing that warning to be displayed from our systems but that warning is still showing up because we need to be rescanned by Google, which we are going to do as soon as we finish up the work we're doing.

Here's a reply; I couldn't have said it better than this:

WOW, disable your ONLY protection? That is the advice? I just checked and it says GOOGLE found malware on the server just 5 hours ago!

While Rome is BURNING, The Auctiva “Emperor” Claims it is ALL GOOD?!?

Simple Wikipedia

                                  JULES
                       That did it, man -- I'm f****n'
                       goin', that's all there is to it.

                                  VINCENT
                       You'll dig it the most.  But you
                       know what the funniest thing about
                       Europe is?

                                  JULES
                       What?

                                  VINCENT
                       It's the little differences.  A
                       lotta the same s**t we got here,
                       they got there, but there they're a
                       little different.

That's how I feel about Simple Wikipedia ... I'm goin' there!



Thank you, Randall Munroe!

Fresh Roasted Psychlo?

Announcing... my first "Other People" link to a filthy lucre commercial site: Split Reason Clothing Company (and no, it's not an ad, it's just a link to their blog).

This one's out of stock (could it be the lawsuits?): Fresh Roasted Cylon




... and this one isn't available yet: Arcadeology



... but you can get this one: Skynet Development Team



... and I'm sure you'll find a product to laugh, especially if you don't have to ask what mumorpuger means (I did!)

Folks who know me best, understand why I like this one best:

Error: 'google' is undefined

Looks like there's ANOTHER reason to use Firefox instead of Internet Explorer: Google doesn't test their AJAX with IE7:



All of a sudden my other blog goes blank, in IE7... but it's ok if I pick a specific post and go to it... and it's OK in Firefox.

I'm REALLY starting to warm up to this Web 2.0 stuff!

Getting really HOT, as it were :)

When Reciva's gone, Shoutcast!

Argh! Reciva's off the air!



All is not lost... winamp still remembers the last station was so I could get my Saturday morning fix of John Lee Hooker.

But... maybe it was time to do a Google search on "internet radio"...

... something familiar about the name "shoutcast"...

... it's somehow connected to the winamp program I'm already using...

Yup, same crew, use winamp together with shoutcast.com and get some integration:



But I can't figure out how to get winamp or shoutcast to remember what stations I've played. So when Reciva comes back, so will I.

Google Hack

What's the most published language in the whole wide world?

I'm guessing that the answer once was "English" but now it's "HTML"... more HTML text is produced and reproduced and passed from place to place than text written in any other language.

Maybe I'm wrong... but the proof, one way or another, isn't easy to come by... it ain't obvious.

So it comes as no surprise that lots of people can read, and sometimes write, HTML with varying degrees of fluency. Just like any other language.

Like me. I can read it pretty well, and write it well enough to be understood. Like longshoremen from Bangladesh and Bosnia, standing on a dock in Egypt, conversing in fractured English... I speak fractured HTML.

And write a little bit, like this snippet I just added to this blog:

   <style>
   #main-wrapper { width: 50% }
   #sidebar-wrapper { width: 339px }
   </style>

It fixes a problem that's been bothering me for a couple of days: The wonderful "US Weather Radar" gadget (look over to the right) was getting cut off when the browser window was resized to be narrow.

In fact, on any monitor less than 1440 pixels wide, it was cut off even if the browser window was maximized!

Now, I didn't write the HTML for this blog. It uses one of the "Minima Stretch" templates created by Douglas Bowman (I'd provide a link if I could remember where I got it from :)

I didn't write the HTML for the US Weather Radar gadget, either. That came from here.

I'm not even brave enough to edit the template, not yet at least.

But I am brave enough to read it, and find out that the "main-wrapper" and "sidebar-wrapper" widths were set to 67% and 25% respectively... and 25% wasn't really wide enough to display the US Weather Radar gadget on anything but really wiiiiide displays.

So, first of all, I captured a screen shot of the gadget into the classic Paint Shop Pro and determined that 339 pixels was wide enough.

Then I got brave, and pasted this HTML snippet just ahead of the HTML for the gadget, as a style override (easy to pull out if everything explodes):

   <style>
   #sidebar-wrapper { width: 339px }
   </style>

That sort of worked... now you could see all of the gadget all of the time, but sometimes the entire sidebar was pushed wayyyyyy down to the bottom of the page. The 67% was clearly causing trouble... it was insisting that the main column was always supposed to receive 67% of the total width, and if the 339 pixels didn't fit in the remaining width it got pushed down below the main column.

I won't go into the other (failed) attempts to solve THAT problem... the 50% setting seems to be a workable alternative. You can still see the "all the way to the bottom" behavior if you make the window really narrow.

And that's why it's called a "hack".

Missed Opportunity

"Your Golden Opportunity" ... is down for maintenance?

MarineMax is a boat dealer in Fort Myers, Florida, and they just sent me this "Golden Opportunity" email... complete with a dead "Search Inventory" link.

Not exactly inspiring... but I'm not going to hold it against them. MarineMax is still on my short list of dealers to visit when the time comes (soon, soon!) to get that center console!

Wikipedia as public restroom?

I often use Wikipedia.

Mostly, I'm happy with the results. Sometimes, not so much.

Now I know why:

"The user who visits Wikipedia to learn about some subject, to confirm some matter of fact, is rather in the position of a visitor to a public restroom. It may be obviously dirty, so that he knows to exercise great care, or it may seem fairly clean, so that he may be lulled into a false sense of security. What he certainly does not know is who has used the facilities before him."

The Faith-Based Encyclopedia by Robert McHenry

But what about Skynet?

Google Maps Sucks

...and so does Google Earth.

The reason? The imagery is ancient, at least for places that interest me.

Here's an example: The mangrove banks next to a boat lift in Cape Coral washed out back in 2006, yet Google Maps and Google Earth still show everything intact.

At least Google Earth is honest about it, saying the "Imagery Date" is 2005:



Google Maps shows the same out-of-date information in a slightly different image, but it misleads the viewer by claiming an imagery copyright date of 2009:



Live Search Maps shows the current situation:



Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of All Things Google, this blog runs on Google.

But Google Maps has been living off its reputation for too long, it's been showing old image data for too long.

Come on, Google: wakey wakey eggs and bakey!

We know you can do better, you (finally) stopped showing street addresses offset by hundreds of feet!

---

Google Maps Does Not Suck!

The Fairness Doctrine requires equal time...

It's still funny...

Spam Blockers Gone Wild!

If computer programmers are so smart, how come this spam blocker doesn't like "Database specialist needed"?



Answer: Because "specialist" is made up of the letters spe - CIALIS - t.

Get it?

Now we all have to spell words like the spammers do: "Database special-ist needed"

See? Isn't th-at ea-sy?

Reciva Rocks!

Worth checking out: Reciva lets you to listen to 16,000+ radio stations over the internet.

Not all at once, mind you, you have to choose. So when you tire of Rush Limbaugh ranting about OctoWoman on WBEN Buffalo you can get your fix of Delta on "All Blues".

And so on.

Hot New Markets!

At first I thought maybe Global Warming is really coming on fast.

Then I thought, maybe that will open up hot new markets (pun intended) in areas that are currently, to put it mildly (oh stop!) rather sparsely populated.

Like northern Ontario. Not, say, like Timmins or even Kapuskasing, but the REAL north (at least as far as folks in Toronto are concerned)...

...wayyyy up in muskeg country:



What made me think that? This Microsoft demonstration, that's what. It shows the locations of "the top 3 salespeople", with one of them being... wait for it... wayyyy up in muskeg country:



Holy Crap! There are already HUGE SALES OPPORTUNITIES in northern Ontario! There must be, if one of Microsoft's top salespeople is located there!

And then I went to Google Maps to see what's actually up there, and typed in "ontario, canada" to get started.

Voila! The answer! That's exactly where Google Maps puts the little red pin when you just ask for "ontario, canada".

Right in the middle of muskeg country:



So, good on ya, Microsoft. Super duper demo, those wonderful new mapping features in SQL Server 2008 really do work well!

Zooms right in there, gives me those precise answers I've always been looking for!

In Order To Serve You Better

How many times have you heard the words "In order to serve you better" followed by:

• "...we are closing your local [fill in bank name here] branch."

• "...we are making your frequent flyer points expire sooner."

• "...we are ending our free service."

and so on, ad infinitum ( where "infinitum" means "about 239,000 hits in Google").

So it comes as no surprise that various utilities REALLY want me to pay my bills online.

"In order to serve you better, we are putting OUR data entry process into YOUR hands!"

That works for some people, but I have been using a computer to print checks, and envelopes when necessary, for decades. Print the check, stick it in the return envelope, stick on a stamp, dump it in the mail. I am *always* going to have to write a check for some bills, so I do it for all of them... it gives me a database record of all my checks, a numbered list from the bank for easy reconciliation, and... best of all... an error rate over the years that is effectively zero.

Plus I'm old and stuck in my ways. That means it's going to take more than silly offers ("50 free miles on the Express Toll Route if you sign up for automatic debit!"), or tactics like eliminating the return envelope, to make me change.

Oh, and here's one advantage to printing my own envelopes: the address is in my database now, and when it comes time to move, I can automate all those change of address letters.

And when I print an envelope, I make two or three copies and drop 'em in my little box'o'return envelopes for next time. Because printing envelopes is probably the hardest part of the process.

Just slightly harder than dealing with the fact that there are many wrong ways to stuff a window envelope and only one right way.

The West Virginia Hot Dogs Slaw Mapping Project

Danger, Will Robinson!

Do NOT follow the new "OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOGS" link to Billions of Versions of Normal.

If you go there, do NOT explore his "LINKS" list... you may never return!

But if you do, be sure to visit "strange maps" where you will discover the wonderful West Virginia Hot Dogs Slaw Mapping Project (tip: HDJ stands for Hot Dog Joint).

They Walk Among Us

The History Of URLs

Before the interweb, UGE Corporation would put

UGE Corporation

on the sides of their trucks. In 1996 they got a web site and started painting the URL on their trucks. Here is a history of those paintjobs:

1997: Visit us on the World Wide Web at http://www.UGE-Corporation.com

1999: Visit us on the Web at http://www.UGE-Corporation.com

2001: Visit us at http://www.UGE-Corporation.com

2003: http://www.uge-corporation.com

2005: www.uge-corporation.com

2007: uge-corporation.com

Now (in 2009) they're back to

UGE Corporation

because everyone knows how to google.