In Order To Serve You Better

How many times have you heard the words "In order to serve you better" followed by:

• "...we are closing your local [fill in bank name here] branch."

• "...we are making your frequent flyer points expire sooner."

• "...we are ending our free service."

and so on, ad infinitum ( where "infinitum" means "about 239,000 hits in Google").

So it comes as no surprise that various utilities REALLY want me to pay my bills online.

"In order to serve you better, we are putting OUR data entry process into YOUR hands!"

That works for some people, but I have been using a computer to print checks, and envelopes when necessary, for decades. Print the check, stick it in the return envelope, stick on a stamp, dump it in the mail. I am *always* going to have to write a check for some bills, so I do it for all of them... it gives me a database record of all my checks, a numbered list from the bank for easy reconciliation, and... best of all... an error rate over the years that is effectively zero.

Plus I'm old and stuck in my ways. That means it's going to take more than silly offers ("50 free miles on the Express Toll Route if you sign up for automatic debit!"), or tactics like eliminating the return envelope, to make me change.

Oh, and here's one advantage to printing my own envelopes: the address is in my database now, and when it comes time to move, I can automate all those change of address letters.

And when I print an envelope, I make two or three copies and drop 'em in my little box'o'return envelopes for next time. Because printing envelopes is probably the hardest part of the process.

Just slightly harder than dealing with the fact that there are many wrong ways to stuff a window envelope and only one right way.